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As a Handheld Gaming System
This is where things get touchy, since this is what Nokia has sold you the N-Gage QD and its predecessor as, a handheld. Surprisingly, it's pretty fun. Yes, it takes a long time to get used to using a telephone keypad as your means of punching, shooting, and that sort of thing. And yes, the d-pad is small, but it's also comfortable and accommodating. That could be said for the rest of the QD as well - small but accommodating. I've had many handheld gaming systems before, but the QD is the first one I've ever felt comfortable carrying around with me, and with taking out at a bar when the people I came with got boring. I've played it on breaks from work or writing, in restaurants, and while waiting for someone. That's not something I can say for most of the small systems I've owned.

The screen, while small, is better than any I've seen before on a handheld and can be seen well in any lighting situation, even bright light. It's roughly the same size as the original Game Boy's screen, to give you some sort of point of reference, and it's fine for every game I've played on the system so far.

Speaking of which, I'm guessing that not many of you reading this have actually seen an N-Gage game before. I bet you have seen a MultiMedia Card or a Secure Digital Card though, and if you have you may as well have seen an N-Gage card. They're actually put onto MMCs, so they're small, and while they seem like they'd be too easy to lose, you can also carry a couple in your wallet, next to that ticket stub from the first showing of The Phantom Menace that serves to remind you how horrible and disappointing life is.

Here's a look at some of the games you can play:

Bomberman: It's tough to go wrong with Bomberman. As a matter of fact, the only time I've ever seen it is with Bomberman Generations on the GameCube. It's a simple premise: a little odd-looking man tries to bomb the other creatures walking around on a map. You begin with the ability to lay one bomb, and as you collect power-ups, you can drop more at a time, drop more powerful bombs, throw your bombs, and that sort of thing. Luckily, this particular iteration of the series is more or less as solid as the other ones.

Take Bomberman through several differently themed worlds - Forest World, for instance - and try to rescue the stolen Bomberman statue. Aside from some sluggish controls, it's as true to the series as you get and looks nice on top of it. It's also exactly the kind of game you want to take with you when you're out of the house. If you want me to spell it out: if you own an N-Gage or a QD, you need to own Bomberman. Right now.

4 stars

Ashen: With a few exceptions, first-person shooters generally don't work all that well on consoles, even with two control sticks and several buttons. Handhelds are a bit tougher still. When you don't have that extra analog stick for aiming, you either have to be pretty liberal with the auto aim or restrict everything to the Y axis, like Doom did. Fortunately, Ashen is feeling generous.

My first impression of the game left me wanting to never play it again. The story, right from the outset is horrible and nonsensical. Not only that, but I noticed a few punctuation issues in the opening sequence alone, something that makes the writer in me want to cringe. The only thing I could ever really figure out is that I was trying to save my sister. Why and from whom was never terribly clear, but I can get past that sort of thing if the game is enough fun, which Ashen is.

Is it going to blow you out of the water or sell you on the QD? Probably not, but it is the best handheld FPS I've played, and it's worth carrying around in your pocket.

3 stars

Spider-Man 2: Activision and Treyarch spoiled you a little. I understand that. They gave you New York City and Spider-Man and let you swing around really fast, smack people around, and have a free-roaming good time. The N-Gage version of the game isn't going to give you the sensation of the wind blowing through your hair or wow you with it's three-dimentional recreations of the NYC landscape (the 3D portions of the game are by far the worst), but you could do worse if you want a good side-scrolling action game to play at the bus stop.

As bad-looking and boring as the aforementioned 3D parts of the game are, the rest boils down to a solid 2D experience. It's not as fun as some of the SNES/Genesis Spider-Man games, but it's charming and a good waste of time in it's own right. You walk side to side, swing, encase enemies in webbing, punch, dodge attacks, and scale the sides of buildings. The cut scenes are nice enough considering the limitations of the system and the action follows the story of the movie well enough, so you could do worse than to pick up Spider-Man 2 on the N-Gage.

2.5 stars

Crash Nitro Kart: As far as ports go, taking a current-generation console title and trying to port it to a handheld is a pretty big mountain to climb, even if it is a simplistic cart (or kart, if you prefer) racer. That being said, Crash Nitro Kart didn't turn out too badly.

The biggest problem is the size of the characters combined with the abundance of hills and blind turns. The characters needed to be smaller. From the starting line on, anytime you find yourself in a cluster of three or more racers, it's easy to lose track of anything that's going on ahead, which can cost you a race pretty easily. That means that until you have the tracks etched on your brain, you're going to have a tough time placing first, and sometimes even third.

Other than that, it's good fun once you can get past what's so bad about it. It's an average c(k)art racer with items and hills and curves and powersliding that's pretty funny to play. If that sounds appealing, then you might as well bite the bullet and pick up Crash. I wouldn't hold my breath for a Mario Kart QD.

2 stars

Overall
With all said and done, I'm actually pretty happy with my N-Gage QD. It's not all about me, though, since you've come here seeking my guidance. You're wondering if you should take the dive and get one for yourself. I'm here to tell you yes, and that it's okay. No one's going to laugh at you, I promise. As a matter of fact, girls love the QD. It's true. I've had more admiring glances from the fairer sex with a QD to my ear than I get with my usual phone, and you can too.

Come on, all the cool kids are doing it.

Seriously, though: is the system worth 200 bucks? Sure, if you want something new, cool, and really useful. Not only that, but you can probably get it for a cool one hundred dollars if you sign up for a contract with it, and for a hundred it's a steal.

Don't believe the hype, don't believe the marketing, just believe that the QD is the total package when it comes to handheld gaming, and it's worth owning. (Derek Durham)