You know what? Forget all of that. The more important question; is Grabbed by the Ghoulies even fun? There’s a surprising, and confusing answer in store. Kind of like the game itself...

It all goes down on a dark and stormy night, like all scary stories, spoofs, and spins are supposed to. Don’t ask me why Cooper and Amber are in the middle of nowhere; don’t ask why Cooper didn’t take his lovely lady’s suggestion of going back. Never mind that - what’s important is that these decisions lead the two to this haunted mansion, backdrop for all the gameplay that will commence. I’m not quite sure why the Baron loves to "play" with obviously-younger children, either. I bet his therapist knows. What is quite clear and apparent though is the fact that Amber will go missing within minutes of the game’s intro, and leave it to Cooper to save the day... er, night.

Entering the first room in the manor reveals a lot about what he’s up against. As an introduction to combat, the manor’s butler teaches you how to fight, use your surroundings as weapons, and how to face Challenges later on in the game. Cooper is quite the scraper, with a bevy of punches, kicks, and silly elbow-drops at his disposal. Best of all, all attacks are dealt with the right analog, leaving the left for movement. It’s very similar to Ape Escape’s unique control scheme, but Rare improves on it by further simplifying combat. Need a weapon? Think that chair would make for a good bludgeoning tool? Just pick it up with A, and swing away! Be careful though - it will break apart after a few swings, as is the case with anything Cooper can pick up to his advantage. Although there’s a fun repercussion to this setback; with the only edge over the baddies being a feeble one, you’ll be on a constant lookout for pickups. Better yet...no collecting, no menu mingling; just straight-up fighting. Oh, and you can always wreak havoc on the non-lethal surroundings to reveal power ups, bonuses, life, or just to relieve stress.

Not only do ghoulies keep Cooper from his goal, but lengthy cut scenes, abstract challenges, and daunting detours make you wonder if the poor guy will ever find his sweetie. As you make way through the manor, systematically destroying all opposition, Cooper will also face off against Challenges. Challenges make things less about frantic, mindless violence and more about structured... er, frantic, mindless violence. Such tasks as defeating all enemies, to finishing a room in a time limit, to more annoying feats like never getting hit inside a room (!) lend to the game’s difficulty. If it weren’t for the Challenges, Grabbed by the Ghoulies would be a boring affair.

However, there is one crux; Challenges pop up every time you enter a room. It’s as if Rare knew that making things a linear affair (quite literally; you can’t even explore on your own) would dull things down. So they craft the Challenges, but forget one thing; it’s perfectly fine to have to play a room and face some adversity, but if the game forces the player to go back through rooms, don’t beat them over the head with more Challenges. Maybe it’s just my own preference, but Ghoulies was a very fun game... until I had to run through the same 10 rooms I had just finished, only to be bogged down by more troubles. Maybe it’s the psychology of a gamer, but there should be a balance between the challenge and speediness of obstacles and goals. Ghoulies constantly hails you with so much trouble that it’s no longer seen as a fun confrontation, but as a obstacle to your progress in a fairly straightforward, run-and-gun, preferably fast-paced game.

That isn’t to say Ghoulies is without its charm. The characters feel a bit generic, but it’s in their mannerisms, characterization, and in the mansion itself that give the game a unique and pleasant appeal. It’s cel-shaded, like sooo many games these days (read: not really, but people like to complain), the mansion is built with total disregard to the world of right-angles and proper architecture, and the enemies earn a chuckle or two with their idle animations. I’d compare the aesthetics to an episode of Scooby Doo, except I hate Scooby Doo, and each time I start up a save file, a smile crosses my face.

Well, until the game slaps that smile right off with tedium.

Rare has a great formula going with Grabbed by the Ghoulies. It’s like their first step away from the mascot-driven platformers of collectable, delectable boredoms, and one towards fasted-paced, pick up and play gaming. But it also suffers like a long time smoker; it makes and effort to stop its bad habits, but falls back on them where it counts most. If it weren’t for the Challenges constantly assailing Cooper to the point of slowing down the natural speediness of gameplay, I’d give Ghoulies all the praise it deserves. Otherwise, I’ll leave it at this; rent it, and if the snail-pace doesn’t bother you, you’ll be in for the first intuitive beat-em-up on Xbox. Otherwise, pretend this never happened and wait for Rare to make something that doesn’t include an exercise in patience and tolerance as a prerequisite for fun.

· · · Hero